BEHIND ENEMY LINES: WHAT’S GOMMERRHEA?
KALLY: Mom, what’s Gommerrhea?MOM: Well, that can occur when a man of low character pays a woman of ill repute to…
KALLY: Mom!
MOM: Oh dear! You mean the Gommery Report!
KALLY: Yes. Britney’s mom said she had a bad case of it.
MOM: She just means that people are fed up with hearing about Liberal corruption.
KALLY: But are they?
MOM: Corrupt? Well, the answer is quite nuanced. Sophisticated Canadians believe all politicians are corrupt.
KALLY: So then Paul Martin is a corrupt politician?
MOM: No. He was exonerated…
KALLY: Exonerwho…
MOM: He was found ‘not guilty’.
KALLY: I thought you said all politicians were corrupt.
MOM: Except for the good ones.
KALLY: Is Paul Martin a good one?
MOM: Judge Gommery thinks so.
KALLY: But wasn’t Gommery supposed to be non-political?
MOM: He wasn’t.
KALLY: Then why did he say Paul Martin wasn’t corrupt?
MOM: Because it was his job.
KALLY: Is the Liberal Party corrupt?
MOM: Hmmmm. Only the Quebec wing. The one under the influence of Jean Chrétien.
KALLY: So Jean Chrétien was only the Prime Minister of Quebec?
MOM: No. He was Prime Minister of all of Canada.
KALLY: Then the Prime Minister of Canada and the head of the Liberal Party was corrupt?
MOM: No, not at all. Only stupid American’s elect corrupt politicians.
KALLY: M’kay. Is Jack Layton corrupt?
MOM: No. He’s a good man who’s trying to make a difficult parliament work.
KALLY: Britney’s mom said it’s a parliament led by a corrupt Liberal Party. Wouldn’t that make Jack Layton an accom..accompl…acco...
MOM: Accomplice? No. It makes him a man who puts the needs of the country ahead the need for power.
KALLY: But by propping up a corrupt government doesn’t that actually make him the most powerful man in the country?
MOM: No. The opposition only wants you to see it that way. That’s called ‘right-wing spin’. They spin things and twist the context until you don’t know what is true. If you want to hear the truth, listen to Scott Brison. Or watch the CBC.
KALLY: How about Stephen Harper? Is he corrupt?
MOM: He is a bad and evil man. He’s only out for power. He also mocks gay cowboys.
KALLY: The paper today said his party could form the next government.
MOM: (chuckles) That will never happen. Not if Toronto has anything to do with it.
KALLY: But then why is he in the lead?
MOM: It’s how we punish the Liberals.
KALLY: By electing Stephen Harper?
MOM: No, by making the Liberals think we will elect Stephen Harper. If only for a day or two.
KALLY: Do the Liberals learn from the punishment? Like when you forced me to watch every episode of Sex and the City in order to learn about modern relationships?
MOM: We like to think they do. It’s how we keep this country great!
KALLY: So lemme see if I understand. The Quebec Liberals are corrupt.
MOM: Yes.
KALLY: But Paul Martin who was a Quebec Liberal minister at the time is not.
MOM: Right.
KALLY: Jean Chrétien was the head of the Quebec Liberals who are corrupt but Jean Chrétien is not corrupt because Canadians would never vote for a corrupt Prime Minister.
MOM: Torontonians wouldn’t. All others are stupid. Go on.
KALLY: Jack Layton is the most powerful man in Ottawa and is in bed with the corrupt Liberals but he is not corrupt or motivated by power because he cares about the country.
MOM: Yes.
KALLY: Stephen Harper is corrupt and only out for power. Even though he has nothing to do with the corrupt Liberals and has no power whatsoever. He also doesn’t like cowboys.
MOM: Exactly.
KALLY: Hmmmm. Canadian politics sure are confusing.
MOM: Not really. It all makes sense if you have the correct enlightened and evolved worldview.
KALLY: Will you vote for the Liberals in the next election?
MOM: Of course! They’ve made Canada what it is today!
KALLY: I see. Well, you’ve helped me understand one thing about Canada.
MOM: Great! What’s that?
KALLY: Why so many Canadians want to leave it!
The preceding conversation was presented by The War Room as yet another transcription from our audio labs of general conversations heard between average citizens in the Liberal Mecca of Toronto. Our undercover agent Starr recorded this conversation between a mother (approx. age 35) and her daughter (approx. age 7) this past Friday November 4th, 2005. It occurred outside of a local mall in the downtown core at approximately 2:34 pm. They were said to be eating street vendor veggiedogs but refused the cheese for hygenic reasons.
posted by Nicol DuMoulin @ 4:52 PM
3 Comments:
"It makes him a man who puts the needs of the country ahead the need for power."
It also helps that he'll never be in a position of power unless he's a minority buttress.
Good post as usual Nicol
I hope the media examines eventually the results of the NDP's "better balanced budget" but I'm not holding my breath. It's only 4.6 billion dollars after all, and we all know the government spends money efficiently, especially this one :). I hate to think how much the health care bribe was, not even good enough for Jack.
The CTV poll today revealed Ontario is already forgiving the Librano$ just a week after Gomery! Wow, there's no hope for Canada.
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